Doubting God's Goodness

Continued from "Lord, Don't You Care":
I wonder how the Father feels when we assume the worst about him rather than the best. Does his heart hurt like mine when we question his love? Doubting God's love doesn't require tragedy. It can creep into the everyday just as insidiously, just a dangerously. It happens when our will is crossed, when our needs are ignored, or when we, like Martha, are stuck doing the dirty work while everyone else is having fun. Now, such doubt in itself is not a sin. It's simply a thought or feeling that springs up almost involuntarily. But when we let it lodge in our heart long enough, wedged tightly like a poppy seed between our teeth, that little doubt can become a big problem. For doubt, lift unchecked, can fester into unbelief. And unbelief, my friend, is not only sin-it's deep trouble. When we no longer believe in God's goodness, when we no longer trust in his care, we end up running away from the very Love we need to live. What is it about us women that creates such a desperate need in us to always "know," to always "understand"? We want an itinerary for our life, and when God doesn't immediately produce one, we set out to write our own. "I need to know," we tell ourselves. "No," God answers softly, "you need to trust."